“If you can’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else” – RuPaul
This statement speaks volumes; but why, oh why is this concept of ‘self-love’ so damn difficult?
We put so much weighting on what others think and feel about us when in all honesty, we are the most important people in our own lives.
Bear with me here, because I’m not talking about being selfish…
But if you think about it, we’re the only ones with ourselves every second of every day. We’re the ones stuck with our own thoughts and feelings about us, who WE are and who WE want to be.
Love should start from within, but why is this so hard?
Of course, societal pressures play a major role in how we THINK we should feel about ourselves, and it’s hard not to fall into the endless cycle of never feeling good enough.
I’m not smart enough
I’m not pretty enough
I’m not well rounded enough
I’m not positive enough
I’m not motivated enough
I. Am. Not. Enough*.
We ALL go through this. Even the most “confident” of us can’t help but compare, and then self esteem goes out of the window.
I do love myself. To a degree… and it’s an uphill battle to do this.
The number of pep-talks I give myself on a daily basis is unreal!
It takes having a little brain dumb run through of everything I’ve achieved and learned in my life to get me to a place of GIRRLLL QUIT PLAYING, YOU’RE GOOD!
Why is self love so hard?
Is it because we feel like we’re not ALLOWED to actually love ourselves? It’s as if we don’t have a right to do so, because it would be seen as conceited and arrogant to those around us.
If you truly think about it, the only other people who should matter are your family, your friends, and your significant other, right?
And they should be, in the words of Will Smith, ‘fanning your flames’ right?
So really, these people are not going to judge us for loving who we are, and will no doubt be flying our flags high as we go through this journey of self-love.
So to all of you reading this post, and as a gentle reminder to myself, allow yourself to love from within – you’re good!
*writing ‘enough’ so many times makes me realise what an odd word this is…